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10 things you should never tell a woman

I see you guys opening your mouth and just say anything to a woman. Has a woman ever reacted like this to something you said?

In other cases, that look will actually be a smoothie as some women like me will kick your butt and whoop that ass!

So, gentlemen, sit around me and I will give you a few tips on how to keep your head when you are around women. As those old guys said, ‘words are like flowers.

You are/have a fat…

Nigga! You might think that you are complimenting a woman but the word fat even if used with a sweet word is still fat and bad. Fat has always been associated with obesity, unsexy people who just like eating and have no control. So next time you see something big in a girl, please wait ten minutes, find a sweet word and replace that fat.

Relax or calm down

And that’s the equivalent of ‘you are overreacting’ or ‘you are being dramatic’. I should have even placed this at no.1. She is not overreacting, she is responding. The moment you mention those words, that’s when you will see real drama. So just sit there like the man you are, taking it by the gun and let her be!

Is it that time of the month?

With Kenyan men, it is worse, am sure you know what you guys say when you think a woman is doing no.2. Here, your brain tells you that this question will help you get out of the situation or help the woman ‘calm down’. You are in for a big surprise!

My ex…

If the devil ever tricks you into saying these words, go to hell and help him light up the fire cause that’s where you will be going if your woman hears you talking about another woman. Gentlemen, please refrain yourself from comparing your girl to your ex, or just go back to her.

You knew I was like this

No, I did not! You pretended to be Romeo so that you would have some of that Capulet cookie and now you are showing your true nature.

Did you finish all that by yourself?

Refer to no.1

Why don’t you ask ‘her’ how to…?

Her could be your mother, sister, best friend, cousin whoever! The moment you start comparing the way your girl does things with however the girls in your life do, you are on your way to lose her. Trust me!

Are you paying?

Don’t even get me started because you won’t get me to stop! Call her a gold digger or whatever word you could get out of your dictionary, but man, whenever you are with a girl, just man up and pay up!

Whose is it?

She has just told you she is pregnant, if it wasn’t yours, she wouldn’t be telling you!

Is that what you are going to wear?

Really? Can this even be justified in the slightest way? She just wore something nice and is waiting for you to confirm how good it is, and then you utter this gibberish…. Man, that is just not cool.


Proud to be a Figerian!

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